Being a High School Junior can be so stressful! Last week, I wrote a short “Open Letter to High School Juniors” that was featured in the Huffington Post’s College Column.

“I sense you may be a little stressed. Spring of junior year can be a whirlwind of expectations and obligations; and it can seem nearly impossible to concentrate on homework, grades, standardized test scores (here’s hoping you get an easy Critical Reading passage!), prom, extracurricular activities, meaningful summer activities that will set you apart in the college admission process, and the fact that your [fill-in-the-blank] teacher rarely gives advance notice for [quizzes/tests/projects worth half your grade]. Maybe the person you wanted to go to prom with is going with someone else, or perhaps you are really struggling in your advanced math class. Clearly, you have a lot on your plate….” Read More Here!

I am so excited to be speaking at Menlo-Atherton HS next week about “The Culture of Perfectionism: What is Really Stressing Us Out, and What We Can Do About It.” Several hundred people have already signed up, and space is limited! If you would like to join, be sure to go here and register.

We often overlook this inner fear and anxiety that bubbles up when we try to live up to arbitrary external expectations and create a image of effortless perfection. For young people, the challenges can be particularly painful – with increasing academic expectations, online socialization, media objectification, and the myth that we can and should be able to do it all the time wears so many students (and parents) out.

It doesn’t have to be this way! And it shouldn’t be this way – in both my books, That Crumpled Paper Was Due Last Week: Helping Disorganized and Distracted Boys Find Success in School and Life and the latest The Myth of the Perfect Girl: Helping Our Daughters Find Authentic Success and Happiness in School and Life, I discuss how we can shift the paradigm to promote personal purpose, meaningful engagement, and overall wellness.

We’re expecting a great turnout for the event – several hundred people have already signed up, and I am really looking forward to it! I hope you can join!

I feel as though spring came a little later this year. Because even though spring technically began on March 20th or so, it’s been cold, rainy, and snowy well into April (sorry NYC!)

The other day, I was working with a high school freshman who had some out of control binders – fifty or so papers stuffed in the front pocket, some papers in the wrong binders, others crumpled at the bottom of his backpack, and yet others in digital disarray on his iPad (his school has a one-to-one iPad program). I proclaimed the beginning of our session Spring Cleaning Day, and we devised a system together and he set off to work.

A mere forty minutes later, he looked relieved and kept commenting on how less stressed he felt – just by organizing his binders and going through his planner and his school-issued iPad. Even though students often put it off (and let’s face it, the trunk of my car should have been cleared out long before last weekend…) the feeling of completion is, well, amazing. Maybe not chocolate chip cookie dough worthy, but amazing nonetheless.

A few tips to make spring cleaning more manageable:

- Make it fun. Schedule a time in advance and get everyone involved. I generally say two hours is the max before focus starts waning and you sit down with old photos and start posting on Facebook. Figure out beforehand what is to be tackled – closet, drawer, backpack – and get all the materials in place. For teens, maybe having a friend come over, putting on some loud music and organizing together can create make it a more collaborative effort. When I was in college, I used to have my best friend come over and sit on my roommate’s bed whenever I was trying to clean the room. I needed to be doing something other than just focusing on the sorry state of my dorm room.

- Keep it manageable. Simply focusing on one drawer or one cupboard or one bureau (and not the entire room at once) can make things seem a little more do-able. If you have time, and get to something else in the time allotted, bonus. If you don’t want to, NBD. You’re done.

- Have the right supplies. Sometimes organizing a closet or cabinet can seem impossible, or it can quickly revert to old ways. I refrain from spending excessive time at Target or the Container Store because they have such amazing options that I can go overboard, but creating a simple storage system can at least give everything its place and allow re-grouping to happen more easily.

And, don’t forget the trunk of your (or your child’s) car! It is amazing what long lost treasures can be found – umbrellas, books, favorite mementos, old letters… clearly an experience I am all to familiar with…

What is in need of a little Spring Cleaning in your life?

In the April 2013 issue of Town and Country magazine, recent Yale grad and Girls television star Allison Williams talks about her own internal struggles with perfection and how she was an overscheduled, stressed out high school student. She candidly admits, “I put so much pressure on myself to be perfect. Between homework and sports and drama and being social, I slept about four hours a night through high school and college.” Even today, she says that she recently learned to quell her need for perfection though she readily accepts she remains her “own worst critic.”

Photo credit: Blossom Berkofsky/

I am a big believer that kindness starts at home – and being constantly critiquing yourself can be seen as a form of personal meanness. It isn’t shocking to think Allison could easily have be one of the girls in The Myth of the Perfect Girl – there are so many issues for mothers and daughters around never feeling good enough and always struggling to achieve some semblance of effortless perfection.

Photo credit: Blossom Berkofsky/

For so many girls, this adolescent drive for perfection – and yes, sleeping four hours a night to try and get everything done as a teen is far from ideal! – will continue to impact them as they move from adolescence to adulthood. In many cases, girls begin piling on more and more activities and expectations, and need a trusted adult to help them find a semblance of healthy strategies and coping habits to deal with stress and pressures in school and life.

It would be great if we could all stop from being our own worst critics. What will you do to be nicer to yourself today?

This group workshop for girls focuses on all aspects of good health and overall wellness. The exercises are based Ana Homayoun’s book, The Myth of the Perfect Girl. The girls will reflect on their abilities and their interests, and learn different strategies for overall wellness and finding a sense of purpose and happiness in everyday life. We will incorporate fun and interactive activities, crafts, and discussions on the topics of organization, time-management, sleep and nutrition, the pressures of social media, and ways to create authentic friendships, and their own sense of personal wellness.

Workshop Dates:

Session 1: Monday, June 24^th – Thursday, June 27^th from 12:30 – 3:30pm
Session 2: Monday, July 15^th – Thursday, July 18^th from 1:30 – 4:30pm

Over the course of four days, this workshop focuses on helping high schoolers improve their expository and persuasive writing through individual and partner activities as well as group brainstorming sessions.  This workshop is a small group workshop, so space is limited. To sign up, click here!          

 Workshop Dates:

Session 1: Monday, June 10^th – Thursday, June 13^th from 1:30 – 3:00pm
Session 2: Monday, July 22^h – Thursday, July 25^th from 3:30 – 5:00pm

Our specially designed Motivational Organization & Time Management workshop for middle and high school students is the perfect way to start the new semester off right! It helps to calm students’ anxieties and allow them to develop skills to balance their schoolwork and outside activities. We offer this workshop in a small group setting, with a maximum of eight students per workshop. Space is limited – to sign up, click here!

High School Workshop Dates:

Tuesday, August 13^th from 10:00 – 12:00pm (Incoming Freshman)
Thursday, August 15^th from 10:00 – 12:00pm (All High School)
Saturday, August 18^th from 10:00 – 12:00pm (Incoming Freshman)
Saturday, August 25^th from 3:00 – 5:00pm (All High School)

Middle School Workshop Dates:

Monday, August 12^th from 10:00 – 12:00pm (5^th & 6^th)
Wednesday, August 14^th  from 10:00 – 12:00pm (7^th & 8^th)
Saturday, August 17^th  from 12:30 – 2:30pm (7^th & 8^th)

Over the course of four days, our Academic Writing Workshop focuses on helping middle school students improve their narrative, poetic, expository, and persuasive writing styles through individual and partner activities as well as group brainstorming sessions. This workshop is a small group workshop, so space is limited. To sign up, click here!

Workshops Dates:                 

Session 1: Monday, June 17^th – Thursday, June 20^th from 1:30 – 3:00pm

Session 2: Monday, July 22^nd – Thursday, July 25^th from 1:30 – 3:00pm

The workshop is a 4-session group workshop where students work on the basic foundations of Geometry and get the chance to work through the first sections of the material, so that they are prepared and ready once school begins.

Workshop Dates: Monday, August 5^th – Thursday, August 15^th from 3:00 – 5:00pm (Mon – Thurs Only)

This workshop is a small group workshop, so space is limited. To sign up, click here!

The workshop is a 4-session group workshop where students work on the basic foundations of Algebra and get the chance to work through the first sections of the material, so that they are prepared and ready for the class once school begins.

The workshop dates are as follows:

Session 1: Monday, June 17^th – Thursday, June 27^th from 3:30 – 5:30pm (Mon – Thurs Only)
Session 2: Monday, August 5^th – Thursday, August 15^th from 12:30 – 2:30pm (Mon – Thurs Only)

This workshop is a small group workshop, so space is limited. To sign up, click here!