The book has now been out for less than a month now, and there was recently this very nice article by Beth Harpaz of the Associated Press about my work.
Tonight, my first Book Reading and Signing is at the Books Inc in Mountain View, CA – if you are in the area, please come by, or if you have friends who might be local, spread the word! THANKS!
The details are here.
By the UC system, that is…
A few weeks back, one of the parents of my college counseling students emailed me because her child had received a notice from the UC Admissions offices, asking for evidence for a “claim” he made in his application essay. The essay was completely factual and accurate, and his story quite extraordinary, but we all found it odd that he would be asked for documentation proving his claims.
Until, this great article in the Mercury News came out yesterday on the UC admission sleuths who go through applications and audit some essay claims – asking for factual documentation behind the homes you built, cancer you cured, or animals you rescued by single boat and oar.
I actually think this is great – because the fear of being audited (and your application being rejected) would hopefully deter some falsehoods being written and encourage students to write about their true selves. I think that sometimes students fear that they have nothing to write about, and that they need to make things up in order to look extraordinary. I believe that having confidence and faith in yourself can make writing about the seemingly ordinary actually quite extraordinary. I have had students write successful essays on being an only child, spending their dream day with friends, and their love for their car.
Now, my student’s essay was completely accurate, so the student has nothing to worry about (other than the annoyance of having to send in documentation). Students and parents, keep this in mind when those hours get long and the essay writing topics seem narrow – someone may be fact-checking!
Every fall, I have a few students who come into my office super excited because they have been designated a “Preferential Applicant” or member of a “Selective” Group that has been invited to apply to College X. They get their application fee waived, they may not have to even write the typically required college essay, and they get their decision in a mere week from applying. Kids feel really pumped about this sort of thing, because feeling special as a teenager is paramount.
Except…its a marketing technique at best, ploy at worst. As chronicled in today’s New York Times article, schools have these sorts of programs to increase application numbers. After all, if its free to apply AND you don’t have to write an essay, its no big deal to many kids. When a college gets more applicants, it typically rejects more students (assuming it wants the class size to remain the same) and so, its acceptance rate goes goes down, making it appear more selective. And increased selectivity leads to higher rankings – even if the only way it became more selective was to hand out free applications.
The worst part, is that these kids who thought they were “Preferred Scholars” often get rejected, because schools do have to reject students to get to their ideal class size. But the way some schools write the literature, it sounds like the kid is already in and has to simply sign on the dotted line. As I like to think of colleges and universities as institutions of higher learning, this marketing technique is like pulling a fast one. Granted, not all schools do it (by any stretch) but those that do should really think about the message they are sending to students, parents and college counselors.
I think I am a little wistful today because I am not at the Sundance Film Festival, the annual gathering in Park City where movies, stars and snow collide. Some of my favorite memories are trapsing through the snow and watching three to five movies a day between hot chocolate and sushi (not together!) and wandering in the local bookstore, where inevitably I purchase far too many stationary products.
One of my favorite Sundance movies was Anvil: The Story of Anvil! When my friend initially suggested we go see the movie, I balked, wondering why I would ever want to spend precious moments watching a movie about a failed heavy metal band from the 80s. I am so glad I went – the movie is genuine, real, and quite simply, one of the most inspiring stories about following your dreams, no matter what other people say or how others try to diminish those dreams. Oh, and there are some hilarious moments.
At Sundance, I was able to meet the director (who spent the summer touring with the band when they were touring the world in the 80s and then found them nearly twenty years later to do this movie) and see the band and their families, who were all at the screening and kind of dumbfounded that anyone would be interested in these guys who refused to give up.
It was released in theaters earlier this year, and is now available on DVD – I would definitely recommend.
This week I have gotten several emails from parents around the country telling me how helpful the book was for them and their son – many have even gotten their sons to read part of it and then implement the strategies! Its so rewarding for me to know that my book is helping families and boys really turn around things for themsleves!
Here is one of the parent responses:
I wanted to let you know that your book (from Amazon.com) arrived this past weekend. I have read almost a third of it, and I already know that my nine years old is a Scattered Charmer. I also think that my husband and I, as parents, may be a bit too involved. Yikes. Anyway, I am really enjoying it and look forward to learning more about your strategies. Even though our son is in fourth grade, a lot of your information can be applied to elementary-aged children.
To that end, thank you Los Altos Town Crier and Traci Newell for your article on the book, which is linked here.
In my book, I often talk about how the well-meaning and sometimes unintentional over-involvement of parents can actually be detrimental to students learning their own organization, time-management and coping skills. The College Board put together these ten tips for helping students become more self-resilient that I found really helpful – check it out here.
Parents often pick up the phone or send an email off to a teacher or counselor when in reality the child could and should be doing that themselves. In my office, I notice how some students are much more apprehensive to approach adults or teachers, and I think that it is in part because their parents have taken to great of a role in doing that for them for too long.
Because even if we wanted to go to college with them, we can’t, and teaching them self-reliance in while they are young is one of the greatest gifts we can ever give young people.
Parents often ask me what books I recommend to help them get to know more about the College Admissions Process. Today’s Monday Rec is a great read, and is a wonderful early entry point into the college admissions process. Bill Mayher’s The College Admissions Mystique has over 27 years of experience as a college counselor. He weaves his stories in an enjoyable manner, and offers parents practical advice and an approach in a manner that is calming, amusing and informative all at once.
In my work as a college counselor, I work with each student individually to create a list of schools that is appropriate for them given their strengths, interests, and abilities. My philosophy is to have students apply to schools that they would actually go to – rather than simply create a list full of schools that they would definitely get into but might not be all that interested in, or may not be a good fit for them given their individual traits and interests. Bill Mayher is a counselor who subscribes to a similar philosophy, and he really cares to learn about the whole student – not just the grades and numbers – to help students on their journey through college and their next steps in life.
Parents often come to me worries about what their liberal arts major is going “to do with their life.” Why couldn’t they be an engineer? Engineers have purpose! Both my parents are engineers, so imagine their initial chagrin when they found out that I was not only majoring in Liberal Arts, but I had designed my own major at Duke to boot! My dad just said. “Just get a job when you graduate, please.”
And get a job I did – at a major investment bank (which I was not fully suited for because I love people more than Powerpoint) – a job that many economics and finance jobs would have loved to have landed. But then I missed working with kids, so I started Green Ivy, and here we are.
The Monday Rec is Smart Moves for Liberal Arts Grads, and is written by Sheila Curran and Suzanne Greenwald. Sheila used to be the Director of Career Services at Duke, and the book is Awesome! It really helps give students and parents a flavor for all the opportunities out there…its uplifting, motivating, and more than one engineering parent has thanked me for loaning out my copy!!
For most kids, its the first week back at school after a somewhat restful break eating, sleeping and hanging out with friends. For some students it is the start of the new semester – a great time for a fresh slate and clean start. This week actually sets the tone for the rest of the semester – here’s how to do it right…
Schedule a time to recycle, re-assess, and replenish.
Just like basketball practice or flute lessons, schedule the time where you and your children go through your old papers, recycle what is not needed, and create folders for papers that should be saved but don’t necessarily need to be in the backpack anymore (last semester’s finals for example).
Recycle – all old papers that are no longer useful, triplicate copies of assignments, hall passes from last semester etc.
Re-assess – Look at all the binders, planners and backpacks – are they still usable and useful. Perhaps your child has new classes this semester and needs new binders for them – also, despite your child’s claims, Chorus and Religion class most certainly need binders.
Replenish – Its the night before a big project and you child need’s scissors and a glue stick, both of which are missing. That is generally not the time that you want to be going to the supply store. The beginning of the New Year is a great time to stock up on index cards (to make flashcards), reinforced binder paper (that doesn’t rip easily), a new three-hole punch if your old one is missing or is dog-eared, and printer paper.
May this semester be your child’s most successful one yet!
